Saturday, October 19, 2013

About Me

"The water you touch in a river is the last of that which has passed, and the first of that which is coming; thus it is with time."  - Leonardo DaVinci

It is funny that now that I have this blog I am always thinking of things to write about. Today while I was out fishing I came up with a couple ideas. But after thinking about them a little bit more I came up with another idea that I am going to explore it bit here.

I have really been thinking of what I want this blog to be. Obviously I am going to try to chronicle my fly fishing adventures here on the western slope of Colorado, but am I still trying to decide how I want to do that. Like I have been doing or do I want to change it up a bit? I am note sure yet, but I am willing to hear any suggestions that you my reader might suggest, please leave a comment if you have any thoughts or ideas. I know that I can''t just go on and on about how much I love the FryingPan... Well maybe I can, but I am guessing that after a while you will get tired of hearing that.

I know that a good portion of the people that read my blog don't fly fish and probably don't have a lot of interest in ever learning how to. So I appreciate you for coming back and continuing to read.

I was thinking for this entry I would take a short break from fly fishing and tell you a little bit about myself. Maybe if even just a little bit more to understand me. I was born in 1971 in St Paul Minnesota. I am lucky to say that I grew up with two very loving, supportive and understanding parents. But with that said I was a good kid. I never got into trouble and I never gave my parents anything to worry about. So it was a good trade off. My father was quite a bit older than my mother was and luckily he retired when I was in 5th grade and my mom was the traditional it seemed stay at home mom of the 70's and 80's so we were a very close knit family. My father died in 1994 and it was the hardest day of my life. I will never forget it. I was 23 years old and I was with him at his bedside when he took his last breath. My dad was an incredible man. He was a World War II vet, a quiet understanding soul and was a electrician for NSP for 35 years before he retired. He played semi-pro baseball before the war and was a lousy left handed golfer. There are four things my father taught me that I hold dear to this day. How to play golf and the life lessons that brought for me, how to play cribbage, that the journey is better than the destination and how to laugh everyday. My mother on the other hand was a beautiful loud Lebanese woman that meet everyone in a room before she left, spoke her mind and was an incredible mother and an incredible person. My mother taught me, to appreciate the little things, to try things, to believe in myself, to eat good food and she gave me my love of Barbara Streisand. My friends make fun of me for listening to Babs, but every time I do I think of my mother and that makes me happy. My mother died in 2000. I was at her bedside as well when she took her last breath. I miss my parents every day and think about them always. But they have left a piece of themselves with me and I carry that strongly in everything that I do. But I will say that being 29 and losing both of your parents is not something I would wish on anyone. But saying that, I know they are both with me and I think that would be proud of the person that I have become and the things that I have done in life thus far.

People whom know me best would probably say that I am an odd duck. I do things my own way, and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. But it is always interesting. I don't have many friends, but the ones that I do have are my friends for life. There aren't very many people that understand me, I think I piss a lot of people off. I think I can be a little hard to figure out, because I think I have mastered the ability to enter my own mind and stay there. It is funny because there are a number of people that I feel a close connection too. And some of those people I don't see very much, but they always seem to understand what I am talking about or are able to understand my feelings. I appreciate that.

I am a creature of habit, and living here in Colorado it has been hard for me to break my Minnesota habits and start new ones. And that has been challenging for me. But I think I am getting better or at least a little bit everyday. I am trying so hard to be happy here like I was in Minnesota. Some days are better than others and some days I just want to pack up my stuff and head home where things are normal.

There are things that I like. I love paper, especially little notebooks. Moleskine, Rite in the Rain, and Field Note notebooks. I have a million of them, some have things written in them, but most don't. I love fountain pens. I love writing with them. I am sad that the practice of writing with paper and pen is gone. But I try to keep it alive if even in my own mind. I love watches. I have a number of them. If I was a billionaire, I would not have fancy cars, I would have watches. My favorite time piece that I own is a Rolex Submariner, it is my favorite watch and I wear it often. I love airplanes but I hate to fly. It scares me. But that said airplanes are awesome. I work in the field of information technology but I think that technology is dumbing down the planet and that makes me sad. I think I am good at my job. I love music. I have arguments with a friend over the best bands and musicians. It is fun, because he thinks he is right. And even though he isn't, we have fun ribbing each other. Within the past 5 years I have gotten back into music on vinyl. I love it, it is a fun hobby for me and I have a few gems in my collection. I love fly rods and fly reels, they are beautiful and each of the ones I own are a work of art to me, even if they are a mass produced off the shelf item. I look at each rod and reel in my collection and each one holds a special place for me and I understand why I have each one. I love to read, but I can only read at night before I go to sleep. My favorite book is The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, I read it a couple times a year. I think I can relate to the Old Man...I have an e-reader but hardly ever use it.

I like some sports but most I don't, I love baseball. There is just something about the game of baseball that is beautiful. It is simple at the core, but so complex when you look deeper. It is a masterful game. Leaving the Minnesota Twins behind when I moved to Colorado was very hard for me. I like football, I watch the Minnesota Vikings and the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. I enjoy watching, but I am not a hardcore fan. If I miss a game it is OK.

I am not religious. I lost all of my faith after my mother died. It was a bad time in my life, I was looking for answers and no one could provide them to me. I got interested in Buddhism about 6 years ago, I learned a lot about it and to me it makes more sense, than the standard religions. So when people ask me about religion I tell them I am a Buddhist. I have gotten some strange looks, but that's OK. I am used to that. Both of my parents were Catholic, but I was lucky that they both let me discover on my own who I was spiritually, I never understood how important that was until I got older. Being here in the mountains makes me appreciate how truly small I am in this world. The mountains are powerful figures in my world, I look at them everyday, they have a deep meaning in my life.

I have met the rock star Marilyn Manson, I spoke with him for a few minutes after one of his concerts I attended. It was interesting and I will never forget it. I got his autograph and it was 5 minutes of my life that I will always remember.

I love pizza and it makes me sad to report that the pizza in Colorado is terrible. I am still looking for good pizza here. I miss the pizza places in the Twin Cities.

My hero I think is Charlie Brown, I can relate to him, his love of baseball and his nature of seeking things out and not giving up, I think I am a lot like him.

I am married to a very good soul, she understands me and lets me be me. She calls me a curmudgeon. I think she might be right. I am an old soul, but she understands that and likes to poke fun at me for it. We have fun together and I think we understand each other pretty well. I am glad she is with me.
I think someday I will figure out what my calling is. Because I still not sure.

I appreciate you for reading and giving me a little leeway with how this blog is evolving, I truly hope that you will continue to visit and maybe share my blog with others. Fly fishing to me has become a way of life, it is my escape, it makes me think about life and my life, it holds a deep meaning for me that I am just starting to realize and understand. I think the important thing for me is to try and explain why. Every time I stand in the FryingPan I am shown a little bit more, I see something each time that I didn't see before and I am beginning to truly appreciate the power that these little things have over me; the trout, the insects and the surroundings that this strip of water pass threw, I appreciate it all. They are a source of great mystery and they hold a great draw over me that I want to try and figure out. I think today I needed to tell you a bit about me, I hope I have done that.

As always thanks for stopping by.

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